8.130. I go to Novus Ordo Mass and leave straight away. I don’t see the point of fellowship—it’s mostly gossip, and most people are hypocrites anyway.
You're not wrong to be disillusioned by what passes for “fellowship” in most Novus Ordo parishes. The post-Vatican II Church replaced the true understanding of Catholic communion with a shallow, Protestant-style “community experience”—usually centered on small talk, biscuits, and feel-good slogans rather than Christ.
The primary purpose of Mass is not fellowship, but the worship of God through the Holy Sacrifice of the Altar. You are not obliged to attend coffee hour or chit-chat after Mass. In fact, true Catholics have always valued silence and recollection after receiving the Blessed Sacrament—not banter in the foyer.
However, that doesn’t mean all social interaction with fellow Catholics is useless or should be scorned. Charity toward neighbor is essential, and having holy friendships grounded in the Faith can strengthen your walk with Christ. The problem is not the idea of fellowship itself—it’s that modern "fellowship" has become a superficial substitute for doctrine, reverence, and sanctity.
Let’s clarify what true Catholic fellowship is versus the Vatican II “community” experience:
| Category | True Catholic Fellowship | Modern Novus Ordo “Community” | Remarks |
|---|---|---|---|
| Purpose of Mass | Worship of God and re-presentation of Calvary | Gathering of the faithful to celebrate themselves | True community flows from worship—not replaces it |
| Fellowship After Mass | Optional, focused on shared Faith and charity | Expected, often shallow or gossip-filled | Not obligatory; may distract from reverence |
| Disposition After Communion | Interior recollection, prayer, thanksgiving | Casual socializing, distractions, chatting in pews | Churches become social halls instead of sacred spaces |
| Meaning of “Communion” | Union with Christ and His Mystical Body | Emotional bonding with fellow parishioners | Grace comes from the altar—not human affirmation |
| Community Standards | Based on shared doctrine and moral living | Inclusion regardless of belief or conduct | Creates hypocrisy and doctrinal indifference |
| Judging Others | Discernment is necessary; avoid rash judgment | “Don’t judge” used to excuse scandal and error | Recognizing hypocrisy is not pride—it’s prudence |
| True Catholic Friends | Strengthen each other in truth, prayer, and virtue | Often superficial, worldly, or lukewarm | Seek quality, not quantity, in Catholic relationships |
| Church as Society | The Mystical Body of Christ, ordered and hierarchical | Democratic club of equals with no doctrinal clarity | The Church is not a social network—it is divine |
Summary:
You are not wrong to leave quietly after Mass, especially if you’ve received Holy Communion and wish to pray. You are not obligated to participate in parish social activities, especially when they are irreverent, superficial, or dominated by worldly people.
But avoid the temptation to grow cynical or proud. Instead, seek out or cultivate true Catholic friendships—those grounded in love for the true Faith, reverence for the true Mass, and a desire to save souls. That’s what fellowship in Christ truly is—not small talk in the vestibule.
“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”
“Where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them.”