8.98. I have daughters, but I’d never want them to be nuns. I want them happily married with children—not lonely or sad. That’s natural. Isn’t that okay?
Marriage is a holy vocation—but virginity for the sake of the Kingdom of God is a higher one. (cf. 1 Cor. 7:38).
To become a nun is not to “give up” happiness—it is to seek eternal joy, to be espoused to Christ Himself, and to live as a bride of the King. The idea that nuns are “lonely” or “sad” is a worldly lie that measures life by emotion, comfort, and human affection, rather than by supernatural joy and eternal love.
If God calls a daughter to religious life, and she responds generously, she will not be alone—she will be surrounded by grace, the angels, and the love of Christ. But if a vocation is denied or discouraged by worldly-minded parents, the soul may miss its highest calling and live unfulfilled, no matter how outwardly successful.
Below is a comparison between the true Catholic view of religious vocations for women, and the modern misunderstanding fueled by comfort and sentimentality.
| Category | Traditional Catholic View | Modern / Vatican II Mentality | Remarks |
|---|---|---|---|
| Religious Life | A higher vocation: consecration to God, espousal to Christ | Lonely, restrictive, old-fashioned, or unnatural | True joy is not in marriage, but in following God’s will |
| Marriage | A holy vocation if God wills it, for sanctity and child-rearing | Seen as the default “happy” option for all women | Marriage is good—but not automatically higher or holier |
| Virginity | Praised by Christ and the Church as a higher state of life (cf. Matt. 19:12) | Viewed as a loss of womanhood or human fulfillment | Church Fathers call consecrated virginity the “angelic life” |
| Happiness | Found in union with God, not in romance or children | Measured by emotional warmth, family life, and career | “Whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matt. 16:25) |
| Parental Desires | Should be subordinated to God’s will for the child | Often driven by sentiment, appearances, and social norms | “He who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me” (Matt. 10:37) |
| Spiritual Motherhood | Brings forth supernatural life in souls through prayer and penance | Ignored or considered “less real” than physical motherhood | Many saints were saved by the hidden sacrifices of religious sisters |
| Fruits | Holiness, intercession, peace, self-giving love | Worldliness, missed vocations, spiritual emptiness | “By their fruits you shall know them” (Matt. 7:16) |
Summary:
It is not “sad” for a daughter to become a nun—it is glorious. To become a bride of Christ, to renounce all for love of Him, and to live a life of prayer, penance, and charity is to live the life of Mary at the foot of the Cross, of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, of St. Clare, and of countless other women who chose eternity over this passing world.
Parents must not project their fears and desires onto their children, especially in spiritual matters. If God calls a daughter to religious life and she answers, she will gain a hundredfold in this life and eternal joy in the next (cf. Matt. 19:29).
Further reading:
Casti Connubii (On Christian Marriage) by Pope Pius XI (1930)